Whenever I started the transition of the site, turning it into Bored With Life, I had a few new comics and stories submitted rather unexpectedly.  At the time, I had only started to release new content.  I had actually only posted my first Half-Life 2 story.

I had many plans for the future and began work on a Comic Strips page as one of the additions.

Since this was such a new idea for this site, I was rather surprised when a new comic strip was submitted.  I did a little digging and tracked the author back to TWHL.

The Mesa Times by Daubster

The Mesa Times is the creation of one of TWHL’s staff, Daubster.  It is a Half-Life comic strip that takes place before the Black Mesa incident.  Daubster made it and posted it on TWHL initially with plans for a future website that never materialized.  One of the forum members at TWHL posted our link and suggested that he submit it here.

And so, The Mesa Times by Daubster is today’s featured comic.  Learn how the G-Man developed his speech impediment, learn what happened to the donuts, learn how Gordon got his assignment in the test labs, and learn what the scis do in their spare time.

Okay, so if you’ve followed this fiction over the years then you know it is now effectively a finished story.

In fact, it was finished in April.  Written by SquirrelKing, the original Full Life Consequences was epically scrambled.  According to SquirrelKing’s profile and forum posts when it first appeared at FanFiction.net he was learning English and used the writing to help.  He also demonstrated some more simple concepts in writing and imagination, which would lead some of us to the conclusion that he was also very young.

Originally, topics about the series were posted in forums such as the fan fiction forum on PHL.  The story was ridiculed and people such as myself often defended him by pointing out the likely age and ESL issues.  The story was also picked up for a rather famous YTMND “epic reading of an epic fan-fiction”.

This story was amusing and the reading made it great.  A second story appeared as well and then the story remained “to be continued?” for years.

But in the past couple of years, YouTube has brought even more attention to SquirrelKing and his fictions.  There have been several flash animations, gmod videos, and even hand drawn animations depicting the first two stories and some of the other works including Halo: Halos in Space, and Metal Gear Solid: Fight of Metal Gears.

Most notably, Icton Entertainment (creators of the Idiots of Garry’s Mod videos) made an adaptation of both stories.  These adaptations were fairly amusing and worked quite well.

Now, by this time SquirrelKing had been inactive for years.  Halo: Halos in Space 2: Aliens attack was his last story which was published in August of 2007.   Suddenly, a new chapter in the Full Life Consequences saga appeared in February of this year (2009).  Do the math.

Most notable about the later 2 chapters of Full Life Consequences is the recognizably deliberate effort to make them “so bad its funny”.  It is possible that someone may have obtained the account and finished the story.  But I think it is more likely that SquirrelKing was responding to his internet fame.

Basically, there are too possibilities.  Either SquirrelKing was a less successful artificial character, like Peter Chimera, or he was legitimately a kid trying to write and practice his writing that has since turned into a “sock puppet” or fake writer due to internet fame.

I happen to think that he falls into that second possibility.  Why?  Mainly because if this was always a fake writer, he did a terrible job setting up the character.  Using Peter Chimaera as an example, the author created a character that could not grasp the English language and didn’t know much about his subject matter.  Sounds a lot like SquirrelKing right?  The difference is that Chimaera is supposed to speak English as a primary language and not have spent much time reading or understanding the plot of his subject matter.  In short, he’s a newbie, a llama, and a childish writer all rolled into one.

Conversely, SquirrelKing started out as a kid who was learning the English language and seemed to have at least some understanding of his subject matter.  He was believable as an author.  That is, believable at first.  With his latter stories, such as the Halos in Space tales, he seemed to be trying to make bad stories.  And since he suddenly reappeared his two latest stories feel even more forced.

Irregardless, the stories of John Freeman, and eventually his son Henry, are funny.  And the Icton videos are fairly popular, well made adaptations that have undoubtedly been the reason for SquirrelKing’s reappearance.

In fact, these are popular enough that many YouTube patrons have been trying to beat them to the cliched punch by making adaptations as soon as a new chapters are ready.

I won’t bother you with these wannabe-Icton videos… instead I’ll just link you to the real thing.

The complete saga:
Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs

Half-Life: Full Life Consequences 2 – What has to be Done
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yHguvYYyQ

Half-Life: Hero Begining
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NiCYPrAoB8

Half-Life Full Life Consequences: Free Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULWgEnnmcv4

I recently linked to an article on shacknews regarding the apparent closure of 3D Realms.

This article was confirmed a few times and… well… Take-Two interactive, the company with distribution rights for Duke Nukem Forever, decided to sue 3D Realms / Apogee for not finishing the game.  It was basically a claim of breach of contract for millions of dollars.

The project, Duke Nukem Forever, was the only title in development at the time by the actual 3D Realms portion of the company and had reportedly cost around $20 million dollars at the time of this issue.

Also, it is worth noting that 3D Realms has used internal funding for the project.  They have not had funding for development from Take-Two.

But now things have become interesting.  Executives of “3D Realms” have released a statement.  In that notice, the claim that the company has NOT shut down and has only temporarily halted development on the project.

“Despite rumors and statements to the contrary, 3D Realms (3DR) has not closed and is not closing. 3DR retains ownership of the Duke Nukem franchise. Due to lack of funding, however, we are saddened to confirm that we let the Duke Nukem Forever (DNF) development team go on May 6th, while we regroup as a company. While 3DR is a much smaller studio now, we will continue to operate as a company and continue to license and co-create games based upon the Duke Nukem franchise.”

Instead, according to 3DR, this was a strong-arm tactic by Take-Two interactive.  In the statement, 3DR says that it entered negotiations with Take-Two for funding to finish the game.  Take Two then supposedly waited until the last minute to offer an unacceptable variation of the agreement which included “no upfront money, no guarantee minimum payment, and no guarantee to complete the DNF game.”

“Suddenly, after months of negotiations, Take-Two materially changed the parameters of the proposed funding agreement. 3DR informed Take-Two that it could not financially afford the changes Take-Two was suggesting and would be forced to release the team if an agreement was not reached.”

So… the sum total of this statement is… Take-Two and 3D Realms can’t play nice together and the gaming public gets stuck with the ass-end of their problems.  The only people worse off then the gamers are the poor members of the development team that became a pseudo-political pawn in this matter.

Look, I’m fully supporting of company and creator rights.  Absolutely.  But I can’t stand to see two companies injure their employees in a bid for control of a product line.

It’s simple… Take-Two… if any of this is true then just suck it up and either give 3DR the money to complete the game or shut up.  I mean it.  PUT UP OR SHUT UP!  The game does NOT belong to you.  Publishing license… that belongs to you.

And 3D Realms… GROW SOME.  If they don’t want to provide your funding, then seek it by other means or restructure.  But don’t wait until the last minute and use employees as fodder for the press.  Find alternatives and if all else fails, start fighting the legal battle to break away from Take-Two and find a better publisher.

EA might take the edge out of the game if chosen, but they do rule everything these days… from Battlefield to the Sims.  They aren’t the only alternative either.

Yes, I realize I’m oversimplifying here.  There is big money to be lost in breaking away from a publisher’s contract.  But here’s the most basic point… PUBLISHERS DON’T START ACTING THIS WAY OVER NIGHT!

When I say “GROW SOME” I mean take a little responsibility and watch over your product.  When a company like Take-Two starts using legal and political maneuvering, it’s time to break off relations and look for someone else.  Heck… here’s a wild idea.  USE F%#&ING STEAM!

Make a deal, offer Duke Nukem Forever on Steam.

Yes, again I know I am over simplifying.  However, I have a serious problem with this matter.  It reminds me of some of the old Valve / Vivindi Universal issues from a few years back.   Do you remember that one?

My point is simply that 3D Realms should have had better foresight to begin with.  And they certainly should have started the back-out process at least a year ago.  Negotiations are tricky, but hiring a good attorney… yes… you actually only need one good lawyer but having more can help… will save you a world of hurt when your publisher gets greedy.

And Take-Two, again… if this is true… seriously… that’s just wicked.   Trying to pry a creation away from its creators by any means necessary isn’t just cutthroat business.  It’s a vile reflection of the reason so many people hate “big business”.

I apologize if I seem unreasonable to the casual reader… but this stuff makes me sick.  People lost their jobs… not because of a bad economy or faulty production… rather, they lost their jobs because two business entities couldn’t behave as mature as the very product requires it’s players to be.

After so many years of development, the gamers… the consumers that purchase said product… are dismissing it.  I suggests that both companies at least pretend to be run by adults and reach an agreement soon or the product itself will be outdated once again.  And I don’t think gamers are as ready to wait another decade or two.

Now, I’m not going to pretend to know all of the gory details.  I’m just ranting about a game I was waiting for… it’s on my wish list in the wish list thread.  I’m also considerably disappointed by companies that behave so foolishly.  And I’ve heard enough about this type of nonsense in recent weeks to have a fairly quick temper in this matter.

Read this quote from 3D Realms’ press release that took so damn long to make public.  And on an important side note, remember this lack of public communication problem from the Valve/Vivendi incident and the HL2 delays.  Many gamers grew to greatly dislike/distrust Valve as a result.  Communication is key.  I consider this prime evidence that both companies need to “GROW SOME”.

Anyway, here’s that last quote.

“From 3DR’s perspective, we viewed Take-Two as trying to acquire the Duke Nukem franchise in a “fire sale.” Those negotiations fell through on May 4th, a deal never materialized, and the DNF team was sadly released a few days later.

Less than a week after the DNF team was released, Take-Two filed its lawsuit in New York, seeking immediate temporary injunctive relief. The court denied Take-Two’s request for a temporary restraining order. While we cannot comment on the details of the ongoing lawsuit, we believe Take-Two’s lawsuit is without merit and merely a bully tactic to obtain ownership of the Duke Nukem franchise. We will vigorously defend ourselves against this publisher.”

If you want to read the full statement, check out this link on Shacknews…
http://www.shacknews.com/docs/press/20090518_dnf_3dr_.x

Again, I’m sorry if something I’ve written doesn’t make sense… I’m mostly writing out of frustration and I’m tired.

The truth is that 3D Realms’ Scott Miller has stated publicly that the developer would have accepted a $30 million buy-out of the Duke Franchise if it would have resulted in the completion of Duke Nukem Forever.  So either the employees at 3D Realms are lying or Take-Two has become a money-grubbing monster.

I believe that the reality of this matter probably stands somewhere in the middle.  In my opinion, if either company would have acted responsibly… none of this would even be an issue now.

I’ve been waiting with regard to this news item, partly because the TF 2 updates are handled on a day-by-day basis… and partly because I’ve spent the last several days visiting my sister and her new baby at the hospital.

Anyway, the Sniper update is closer then ever.  With it we are finding a new game mode, a new weapon for the sniper, a new defense for the sniper, and some new maps.

Here is, in a nut shell, day’s 1 through 3 of the pre-release press.

Day 1 featured a new weapon alternative for our snipers.  The Huntsman longbow.

Do you remember Half-Life 2… the crossbow.  Well… this is sort of similar.  The longbow is a weapon designed to decrease accuracy over distance.  But the arrows you fire will stick in your targets and pin their dead bodies to the wall.

It also has a shorter charge time [ 1 second ] and will probably look more interesting then the standard rifle.

Day 2 revealed two new arena maps and the new payload race game mode.  The new maps are both arena maps.

Sawmill is a hillside lumber camp with a spy base hidden beneath it.  Active saw blades are located around the cap point.  Rain makes its TF 2 debut in this map, adding a soggy theme to the new environ.  Sounds fun.

Nucleus is a modern day doomsday device.  Access points are thin catwalks above a chasm.  Surrounding the device and prevalent throughout the map, is a bottomless and/or radioactive pit.  Let the time run down and you’ll find the catwalks retracted.

The new game mode, payload race, is exactly what it sounds like.  The map is Pipeline.  The mission, to beat the other team to their payload target.  With an upload battle side by side, teams must work quickly to replenish pushers or the cart will quickly roll back down the hill.

Day 3 revealed a new defense for Snipers.  The Razorback is a “hand-carved tribal shield” equipped with a car battery.  It’s heavy, so you will move slower.  It also brakes after one use.  However, it also pumps 10,000 volts into the first spy that attempts to back-stab you.   And if they survive to try again, they’ll have to wait for their blade to cool down.

Expect the sniper update on the 19th.  I’ll update this post as more info becomes available in the next few days.

Update:

Day 4 brought us a pair of upgrades for spies rather then snipers.  This is sure to result in mixed opinions.

First, the dead ringer is a pocket watch which hopes to recreate the old feign death concept.  Basically, when your spy takes a non-lethal hit, your cloak instantly activates for 8 seconds.  A replica of your body is dropped on the ground.

Second, the cloak and dagger is a wristwatch that interfaces with your cloaking device.  With this device, your spy will be able to stay cloaked indefinitely, as long as they stop moving from time to time.  You must remain still to regenerate your cloak.

So… why do I say this may have mixed reception.  Well, on the one hand, the old feign death trick was better then a cloak as far as game-play is concerned.  And making this new dead ringer watch is probably going to be fun.  But I know a great many players who will likely dislike the cloak and dagger or both devices.

Why?  Because well-played spy characters can become a nuisance in any round without new advantages.

Simply put, the cloak is good for an experienced spy and bad for anybody else.  I don’t play the spy much myself because I have never successfully back-stabbed anyone… even when standing idly behind them… not ever.

A spy check can cut through any disguise, but a cloak has the effect of hiding the player entirely… as long as they know how to use it.  There are tutorials, but…

More often then not, a novice like myself will cloak and stand somewhere only to have someone invariably start shooting that corner for no reason and naturally realize I am present.  This is a fact that has been discouraging.  But experienced players tend to use their cloak with unparalleled accuracy.  In big games it’s not so bad, but in smaller games fewer spies make a better game.

Now, some are going to dislike the dead ringer because it makes killing a spy a harder task.  Getting back-stabbed by the player you just killed could feel like the game is cheating.

Personally, I think the dead ringer will be fun.  I remember the old feign death concept and it was useful… especially to a novice spy.

The cloak and dagger is a little different.  The biggest complaint from players that I hear is about how bad the cloak device makes the game.  An experienced player can use it and make trouble for an entire team if its small enough.  And a novice can’t use it worth spit.

Personally, I like the idea of the cloak and dagger as a novice.  It will make playing a spy more interesting for me.  It reminds me of AvP 2.   I love cloaking and staying cloaked for a long while only to emerge when ready to kill.  I could see this giving me my first back stab.

But… that’s part of the problem.  Some experienced players will say this makes the cloak too easy.  And many, many players will dislike the use of the cloak by novice players.  Even a complete newbie should be able use the cloak effectively.

Which means an 8-year-old with a fowl mouth, no self-control, and no skill will be stabbing you in the back even though you usually would see them coming.  And, of course, the more experienced players will simply find the spy a bit easier to hide.

As a result, I find myself of two minds on this subject.  I’ll be more able to learn the spy trade and certainly this will revive some old memories.  But at the same time, spies are going to be that much more annoying.  Especially if these new goodies are based on achievements.

I don’t achievement farm so I wouldn’t get the new goodies for a long time.  Meanwhile, a horde of llamas will farm away and walk into the game with all the latest goodies.  I guess I like these new spy ideas, so long as they aren’t achievement based.

UPDATE:

Okay, so Day 5 was pretty basic.

The meet the spy video, which you’ve all seen already because it was “leaked” and therefore a “must see” for each and every one of you.

Admit it!  You heard about it and had see the leaked video.  It couldn’t load fast enough on YouTube.  Maybe you saw it mentioned on PHL or on Chris Livingston’s blog or linked on some forum thread somewhere.  All you knew was it was leaked and you had to see it.

You’re a sad, sad person…

Anyway, there is also a list of spy achievements available plus the icon pack.  Achievement descriptions aren’t up yet… just corny puns based on Bond Movie Titles.  But they look pretty standard.  Which means you’ll either farm for them all or you won’t get more then a few of them.  Good luck anyway.  >:)

By the way, the release is now the 21st and not the 19th.

UPDATE:

Day 6 brings a replacement weapon for the spy.  The Ambassador.

This is a replacement for the old pistol… designed with a detailed skin featuring the likeness of your foe’s mother carved into the barrel.  This new gun is supposed to be as accurate as the sniper rifle at range and has the same revolver ammo count.

But,  it must “cool off” after each shot, meaning a longer delay between rounds.

UPDATE:

Day 7 confirmed a possibility shown in the Meet the Spy video.  It also affirmed the April Fool “joke” posted on the TF 2 blog.  Jarate… also known as “eeeeeewwww!”

Yep… Snipers now have jars they’ve… *sigh*… peed in.

This proves that snipers are the missing link.

Apes throw their on dung…

Snipers throw their own pee…

Humans throw their own…

I dunno…

let’s say…

no… that would be for a mature audiance…

You know what…

I can’t think of anything without it turning into a bad dirty joke…

so never mind.

Anyway, Jarate is a jar of pee that snipers will have in game.  Toss it on an alie that is burning… you’ll put them out.  Toss it on an enemy, they’ll take more damage.  Toss it on or near a cloaked spy and break their cloak.

Further, it splashes when it hits… so toss it into a crowd and make half a team 35 % more vulnerable, or something like that… I guess.  But they can jump into water to wash it off.

And finally, the sniper achievement icons and names were revealed.  Including one that apparently means hitting 5 people with pee… or something like that.  And I shudder to consider the “rain on their parade” achievement.

Anyway today’s the day… the new update should be coming soon.

I was browsing a few websites this morning when I stumbled on a brief message and a link.  Looking further, I found out something I really didn’t want to know.

Duke Nukem Forever… may be dead.

Duke creator 3D Realms has closed.  At least, that’s the story from Shack News.

“The closure came about as a result of funding issues, our source explained…”

They have updated with recent messages from related companies Apogee and Deep Silver stating that the issues with 3D Realms have not affected them or their own PSP/DS hand held Duke Nukem project known as the “Duke Nukem Trilogy”.

There has also been a statement from Joe Siegler on the 3D Realms forums that explains, “It’s not a marketing thing. It’s true. I have nothing further to say at this time.”

To read the ShackNews article, which has been updated 3 times thus far, go here.

I just hope one of the surviving heirs to the Duke Nukem Empire can revive the title and give it proper development service.  I certainly feel for the employees of 3D Realms as apparently, they were “let go”  with almost no warning apparently.

As late as Tuesday afternoon, Seigler was involved in an interview and apparently had no idea this was happening.  Here’s the TechDish interview part 1 published yesterday.

EDIT: Just be aware, the 3D Realms forums are being overwhelmed by visits, so take it easy if you can’t get in.

Also, the BBC has picked up the story… http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8037688.stm